Reflections in the Mirror
by Boscosbabe55
Summary: The Boscorelli children reflect on their childhood. Prelude to 'Family Matters' Part 3 of 3 added 10-10-03
1. Boscos POV

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Title: _Reflections in the Mirror -Bosco's POV_  
**Author: **_Fyre_  
**Category:** _Drama/Angst_  
**Email:** Boscosbabe55@bellsouth.net  
**AIM: **_ToriBoscorelli_  
**Spoilers:** _Prelude to Family Matters._

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Summary: _Each of the three Boscorelli Children reflect on their childhood, and living with their _father.  
**Disclaimer:** _All characters are the property of John Wells and Edward Allen Bernero and NBC. Those lucky bastards. I'm only renting them for a while, I plan to be kind a rewind  
when I return them._  
**A/N: **_This is just some idea that popped into to my head so I'm going to give it a try. If all works out there will be 3 chapters, Bosco's POV Mikey's POV and Mercedes POV. Each will occur when they are 16. Please--Please let me know what you think._

I'm turned Sixteen today an' I got this crazy idea, of writing 'bout my childhood and reflecting on it. Everything that has happened. If it works out, I'll have Mikey, and Mercedes do the same when they turn 16. I really can't tell anyone 'bout it, 'cause they'll think I'm gay.

Your 16th birthday should be a big deal right? Well not mine, not with my lousy old man around. Drunk off his ass, sitting in the chair. Strings of curse words coming out of his mouth, every five seconds. Right in front of my sister. She's six years old, she doesn't need to be hearin' those kinda things. Next she'll be repeating them. Though I've told her if she ever says those words I'll wash her mouth out with soap. She covers her mouth shaking her head, then takes her hands off her mouth. "No potty mouth Mo." So that's how I spent my 16th birthday listening to my old man swear and throw beer bottles across the living room.

My ma, she was at work. She works at this small diner on 82nd, making 2.00 measly dollars an hour as a waitress, doing whatever she can to make ends meet so us kids can have food, clothes go to school. Trying just to give us the best she can.

Now that I'm 16 I'm getting a job, my ma shouldn't have to do it all alone. She's put up with enough shit. My old man beating her, her watching him beat on her children. usually it's me. If he gets mad at Mikey or Mercedes, I'll do somethin' or say somethin' jus' to get the attention off of them and on to me. Jus' so they don' have to get hurt. 

Mikey he's fourteen an' as hard as he acts I know he's still scared of my old man, an' hate gettin' a beatin. So that's why I do those things so I don' have to see it. I don' have to see him cry, or my ma cry or my sister cry. So if he starts on one of them, I'll do whatever it takes to get him to turn on me. I close my eyes an' I take the beatin' that was originally meant for my ma, brother or sister.

They're my family an' I love 'em. I'll do whatever it takes to keep them out of harms way. If it means i get hurt, so be it. It's not like I don' know what I'm doin'.

I can't help but to think, years down the road from now. When we've all gone our own ways. How it will effect us all, what will happen to my ma. She an' my father are suppose to be split up, but he comes back. He'll stand outside my bedroom window knockin' until I answer. He says he's there to see me, that he loves me. But as soon as I let him in he goes right after my mother. She let's him stay.

Like today he did the same thing. Said he came to see me for my birthday, wanted to wish me a happy birthday. I believe him. I thought he was serious. I want them to get back together, even though I know it's a crazy idea that's what I want is for my family to be together.

So I let my old man in, an' he went right after my ma, then my sister started screamin' so he went after her an' of course I stepped in, there was no way in hell I'd let him harm her. So I stepped in a took the beatin' now I gotta black eye, that's what my old man gave me for my birthday was a black eye. I guess it's better on me then it is on Mercedes or Mikey.

She's only six, an' it's amazing how much her little body can take. She's had her fair share. Broken arm, a few broken ribs. Yes a few there have been 3 times where she's had her ribs broken by my old man. Stitches, bruises, an' cuts. Too much pain for one little girl to handle. At six the most she should have are few strawberries on her knees from falling off her bike, but for her, that's the least of her worries.

She was born on Valentines Day, ya know. That's how she got her middle name. Love, I gave it to her. See when my ma had her i thought namin' her somethin' that had to do with the holiday, so I came up with the name Love. My ma had her heart set on the name Mercedes; she always wanted one of them cars. She came to a compromise. Since my ma was going to name her kids all with the name initials, Me, I'm Maurice Louis Boscorelli. Mikey he's Michael Lucas Boscorelli, and Mercedes, she's Mercedes Love Boscorelli. It was suppose to be Mercedes Lynn, but my ma used the name I came up with as her middle name. I know it sounds corny, if she wants to sue me when she gets older, then so be it.

My old man treats her like an animal or somethin'. His favorite thing to do when he "can't handle her," Is locker her in this closet we have. He use to lock me in there when I was younger. I'm still scared of thing, so I can't even begin to phantom how scary it is for her. The thing wouldn't be so bad, if it didn't have so many spiders. Her little legs are covered with spider bites, every where you look. An' I can't always be here so I can't always protect them an' that hurts the most. When I come home from somewhere an' find out what my old man did. There have been so many times; where I have thought 'bout killin' the son-of-a-bitch, but I'd end up in jail an' never be able to help them.

Mikey, he's had his fair share of problems with my dad as well. he's had jus' as many trips to the ER as me an' my sister have. When I'm not 'round he tries do protect Mercedes an' ma. This pisses my old man off more, tellin' Mikey. "It's bad enough your brother does this, I don' need two of you. Someone's gotta set the girl in like or she'll grow up to be a useless as you an' your brother. Or even worse turn out like her mother." My dad always had a way with words. he always had a way to get his point across an' if you didn't like what he said or what your own opinion of things, then he'd use his fists to show you how right he is.

He's not a man who talks, he's a man who fights an' doesn't care who he hurts, jus' so long as they listen. 

There have been times where he's been so drunk he's pounded on someone until they were almost dead. One night he came back from the bar, an' Mercedes had fallen asleep on the couch, leaving her toys out. Well my old man tripped over one. He yanked her off the couch an' beat her 'round like he was in some bar fight. Pushin' her down a flight of stairs....this happened on more then one occasion. She ended up with a skull fracture an' spent a week an' half in ICU. She was only four.

See what I mean, my old man, he'll never be father-of-the-year material. He'll always be a no good, worthless drunk who beats his family.

Mikey he spent sometime in IUC when he was 10, my old man got so mad at him. he came home with a bad report card, an' my old man didn't like that. He kicked in him so hard, he ended up pissin' blood an' had to have surgery on his kidney. That's the way it's been. That's how my life has always been watchin' somethin' I have no control over. 

I'm goin' to be a cop when I'm old enough, to try an' prevent other families from havin' to go through the same shit, our went through. You may say that's a stupid idea now an' I won't be able to stop everyone, but I'll make sure I'll stop as much of it as I can. I don' care how hard it is, I'm goin' to do it.

No-one should have to go through the pain my family has been through. No-one.

This idea seemed to work pretty good. I dunno what do you think? Think I should have Mikey an' Merc, do one when they turn 16. They'll probably think I'm crazy, but it won't be the first time someone's told me that. In the mean time though, I'll go on protectin' my family. 'Cause I love 'em.


	2. Mikey's POV

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Title: _Reflections in the Mirror -Mikey's POV_  
**Author:** _Fyre_  
**Category:** _Drama/Angst_  
**Email:** _Boscosbabe55@bellsouth.net_  
**AIM:** _ToriBoscorelli_  
**Spoilers: **_Prelude to Family Matters._  
**Summary:** _Each of the three Boscorelli Children reflect on their childhood, and living with their father.  
Disclaimer: All characters are the property of John Wells and Edward Allen Bernero and NBC. Those lucky bastards. I'm only renting them for a while, I plan to be kind a rewind  
when I return them._  
**A/N:**_ This is just some idea that popped into to my head so I'm going to give it a try. If all works out there will be 3 chapters, Bosco's POV Mikey's POV and Mercedes POV. Each will occur when they are 16. Please--Please let me know what you think. Even though I highly doubt anyone will read this. I only know of like 3 or 4 people who read my works. I don't think the rest of you do._  


So Mo, he said for me to do this. I guess when he turned 16, he did the same. I asked him to show it to me, but he wouldn't. I bet he didn't even do it. I tired to put up a fight sayin' how I thought the whole idea was rather stupid, which it is. Why would I wanna write about my life? It sucked, everything about it sucked!

For as long as I can remember, it's been this way too. My old man drunk, reeking of alcohol on a daily basis, taking his rage out on me an' Mo, until Love came along. Then I kinda was forgotten about. He just focused his attention mainly on Mo or Love. My old man said one kid was bad enough, he never wanted three. So when Love was born, he took his anger out on her more so then anyone else.

It use to be just Mo and I. It used to be jus' the two of us. Though Mo he'd take most of the beatings trying to protect me. If Dad started on me or something. Mo would start saying something or doin' something just to distract my dad, an' he'd get one helluva beatin'. That was probably the hardest part of the whole thing, watchin' Mo get beat by dad because of me. Or when Love was born watchin' it happen to her.

There was so much I wanted to do. I wanted to kill my old man, I wanted him to be in the same pain his children were in. I wanted him to feel what we were feelin', but I was too scared. To scared to stand up to the drunk an' defend myself or my sister. 

He'd hit my ma too, he'd beat on her an' beat on her an' beat on her. I never understood why either. I couldn't understand why my father hated us so much, what did we do, that made him do all this?

I remember this one time last year, I don' know why it sticks out in my mind, but it does. Love left her Barbie dolls out an' my old man he tripped over one. He got angry. So he picked her up and shook her little body so violently. Usually he'd jus' spank her or something, and then lock her in the closet. This time he was mad drunk. He twisted her arm. I was sitting on the couch, watching all of this. I couldn't do anything either. I tried but he jus' shoved me back down. He kept twisting her arm, till finally I heard her bones snap. It was the most sicking sound ever. Then they way she cried. I still can't get that sound out of my head.

He then shoved her in this old dog kennel we had, when we use to have a dog, that was until dad ran over it. She was a little big for the cage but he didn't care. He picked her up, shoving her in the cage. She couldn't cry 'cause he'd only hurt her even more, he hated crying, he absolutely hated it an' it only angered him more. Said it was for babies, or animals. Lockin' Love in the cage, 'cause to him, she was an animal. So here she was hunched up, cradling her broken arm in pain, biting her lip so hard to keep from cryin' that it was bleeding.

Mo he saw everythin' too, but he couldn't do anythin' as well. He jus'; like me had to watch this monster beat on our baby sister. So like a coward I hid in my room, not able to watch anymore, not able to do anythin' about it. All I could do was cry an' pray she was okay.

Mo he waited hidin' in the kitchen 'til our old man passed out and went over to the cage. Breakin' the lock he got her out. I 'member him comin' up to my room, holdin' her in his arms. As she sobbed in pain, tryin' to act brave for her brothers. 

It was rainin' that day, so Mo took his jacket an' draped it over Love, so she wouldn't get wet. He was soakin' wet by the time we got to the ER. Takin' Love inside. Mo said she fell off her bike, while ridin' it the rain. The doctors, the probably knew we were lyin' but didn't seem to press it.

The put her tiny little arm in a pink cast, she ended up usin' as a weapon a few times. Mo tries not to think 'bout that day, as well as many other days like that. 

We came home from the hospital, an' my old man was awake. Our Mom wasn't home she had been on a mini vacation with her friends, so it was jus' the old man. When we got in, he was madder then a bitch in heat. An' went after Mo. Mo bein' who he was didn't even try to fight back, he jus' took what the old man gave him. Blow after blow. I quickly hurried Love up stairs, she didn't need to see it, she had been through enough that day.

Finally Mo came upstairs, his eye black an' blue; his nose bleedin' He was hurt, but didn't show. That's how he was, that's how he is. Loves' curled up in my lap, her arm hurting her again, as she clings to me, with a death grip. "Mo-" She whimpers sadly. "You have an owey." Mo he looks down at her an' he can see how scared she is. "I'm fine squirt." He looks up nodding in reply, tryin' to reassure me as well. I rub the back of my sister head as she sucks on her thumb, I gently swat it. "Don' do that Love you're big girl." She just nods.

Now I still don' know why I remember this day so vividly; but I do, it's like it happened yesterday.

There have been so many other time when my old man did some fucked up shit. Like the time I cam home with a bad report card an' my old man beat me so bad, I was pissin' blood an' have to be in the hospital for a week. As bad as it was an' as much as it hurt, it could have been worse. Mo he tried stoppin' him again, an' he got his ass kicked too. Not as bad as I did. The old man was pretty blowin' up by that time, soon after he passed out....like always.

Mo, he doesn't talk 'bout what happened to him much, he keeps it to himself, but he's been roughed up as many times as well. He's had a few broken ribs, a broken arm actually my old man broke that arm twice. More stitches then one can count. All 'cause he's either stood up for me, my ma or Love.

We fight 'bout stupid stuff now an' then. What brothers don'. Thing is I'm lucky to have a brother like him, I lucky that he's there for me. They say you can't pick your family, which is cool with me. Other then the fact 'bout my old man I have a great family. A brother who's always there, through thick an' thin. He'll be twice the man my father ever will be. A mother I'd die for an' love to death. Who does *whatever* it takes to see that her "babies" have what they need. A beautiful sister who's been through more shit then girls twice her age. Shit no-one should have to go through. She's head strong though, well for an Eight-year-old she is. She becomes more an' more like Mo, everyday. 

There's things in life we jus' can't control, my old man he's one of them. What doesn't kill us--only makes us stronger.


	3. Mercedes' POV

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Title: _Reflections in the Mirror -Merceds POV_  
**Author:** _Fyre_  
**Category:** _Drama/Angst_  
**Rating:**_PG-13_  
**Email:** Boscosbabe55@bellsouth.net  
**AIM: **_ToriBoscorelli_  
**Spoilers:** _Prelude to Family Matters._  
**Summary:** _Each of the three Boscorelli Children reflect on their childhood, and living with their father._  
**Disclaimer:**_ All characters are the property of John Wells and Edward Allen Bernero and NBC. Those lucky bastards. I'm only renting them for a while, I plan to be kind a rewind  
when I return them._  
**A/N:**_ This is just some idea that popped into to my head so I'm going to give it a try. If all works out there will be 3 chapters, Bosco's POV Mikey's POV and Mercedes POV. Each will occur when they are 16. Please--Please let me know what you think. Even though I highly doubt anyone will read this. I only know of like 3 or 4 people who read my works. I don't think the rest of you do._

My brother Mo has been on my ass about me writing this stupid thing ever since I turned 16. That was almost seven months ago. Personally if you ask me, it has to be the single--most stupidest idea Mo has ever thought of, an' believe me Mo has thought of some pretty stupid ideas in the past.

The -last- thing I want to write 'bout would be my childhood. The -last- thing I wanna think 'bout is what happened. Isn't bad enough that I had to go through it once? Now Mo wants me to write 'bout it. To tell you the truth I wasn't going to, but somethin' happened last night, somethin' bad. 

Usually I could go to Mo, an' tell him. I've always been able to go to Mo, for -everything-, but this--this is different.

Before I get to what happened let me tell you 'bout my family, jus' to shut Mo up. My ma, she's the strongest woman I know, I can only hope I'll be as strong as her when I get older. That I can be the woman my mom is. I love her so much. She's always done whatever it is to see that my brothers an' I have what we need, what we want. She's worked so many odd jobs here an' there. Just to make ends meet. There was one time where she worked three jobs, jus' so we could eat.

See my dad lost another job -again-. He got caught drinkin' on the job -again-. I'm his "little" mistake, as he likes to call it. See he didn't want one child yet alone three. When I was old enough he told me that. I was a mistake.... that the condom broke an' I shouldn't be here. That if my mother didn't have a heart; he would have forced her to have an abortion. So to him, I'll always be a mistake, I'll be worthless an' amount to nothing. Whatever, he has the right to his opinion. Make's it easier for me to hate the bastard, 'cause I do. I know hate is a harsh word, but what else is there to say. He use to not only beat me around like a rag doll, but Mikey, Mo, an' ma. It became his favorite past time, along with drinking. He's broken my arm, given me a few broken ribs, a skull fracture.... that's only a small list of what he's done. There's a lot more.

He's put my ma in the hospital a few times as well. Same goes for Mo an' Mikey. Dad was our own little shit stick in life, an' we kept getting hit with the shitty end of the stick.

Mikey.... I love him, I do, but he's got problems. He's into drugs, an' nothin' little like weed or anything. He does coke an' he doesn't seem to care that he could die from it. He keeps sayin' he's goin' to quit, that's he's goin' to get clean, yet he never does. I'm so scared he's goin' to die. I've told him that before, but he doesn't seem to care, he jus' shrugs it off. Then he sticks a straw up his nose an' does a line. Mikey lives his life from high to high; waiting for the next time he can get high. I miss my brother; the one would let me crawl into his bed during a bad thunderstorm. Who may not have been as strong as Mo, but when Mo went to the Army, to become a Ranger. Mikey did his best to see that dad didn't hurt me. He tried -so- fuckin' hard to protect me, to keep me safe, to see that the monster we called dad.... wouldn't hurt me.

Mikey said he knew he could never replace Mo, but he'd make sure he would do his best to keep me safe. Knowing that' what Mo would have done. I miss that brother; the one would pull me into his arms, wrap them around me an' tell me, everythin' was goin' to be okay. Now all I got is a brother who's so fucked up he doesn't know what day of the week it is. 

Then there's Mo..... there's not enough words in the English language for me to describe how much he means to me. He became a cop, has been workin' with the 55th precinct for almost 3 years now. His partner Faith is so nice. She's becoming like a second mother to me. To bad she's married though, 'cause she'd be the prefect woman for Mo. She's so nice an' does a good job of keepin' Mo in line. My brother can be a handful sometimes, but I still love him.

He's unlike anyone I know. Whenever my dad would start on me, 'cause I left my toys up, the TV was on to loud; I didn't do this or that. Whatever it was, Mo would step in. As soon as my dad started hitting me, Mo would do something jus' as bad causing my old man to go from me to him. He takes whatever beatin' my dad decided to give that day an' not fight back. Not even bother to block any of the punches. I asked him why he does that one time, an' he simply replied. "I'm your big brother that's my job." He said jus' like that. He didn't even hesitate when he said it either. He spent his whole life lookin' out for others, protectin' those who can't protect themselves. That's why he became a cop. I really look up to him too; I plan on becoming a cop as well. I know it sounds stupid, but that's jus' how much I look up to Mo, that's how much he means to me.

Which makes what happened, an' not bein' able to tell him, all that harder. I'm scared, I'm embarrassed an' I don' want people gettin' the wrong idea, 'bout me. What if it was my fault? What if it was somethin' I did? Or maybe the way I acted? What if I dressed wrong, givin' someone the wrong idea? Whatever it was I said no. I told him no over and over an' over, 'til I could no longer say it. I even screamed it. Yet he wouldn't get off of me, he wouldn't stop. I felt so dirty, I felt so violated an' I still do. I wanna tell Mo, I've even picked up the phone, dialed his number.... only to quickly hang up when I hear his voice. He's always been the one I go to, I've always been able to tell him -everything-. But this I can't--an' he's a cop, he's the one person that could help, that could help, hold me, like he did when I was younger. Let me cry in his arms. I can't tell him, I can't tell my brother I was raped.

When it happens to other people, you say how sad, you say poor thing. When it's you, it's something else. It's everything. You'll never believe the nightmares, you'll never know the pain he caused an' you'll never see the scars he's left behind...I wanna tell Mo, what happened. I wanna tell him what he did, but I don' wanna be someone's poor thing. Maybe one day I'll be able to tell him...maybe one day.

Mo, if I don' tell you please don' be mad an' if I do tell you please don' be ashamed of me.


End file.
